Ranking Demon Slayer’s Hashira By How Likely They Are To Help You Move
Today, the first film in the Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle trilogy finally hits American theaters after setting box-office records in Japan, and I’m sure it will unite weebs from every walk of life while making a bajillion dollars in the process.
It will adapt the beginning of the manga’s final story arc as our protagonist, Tanjiro, faces off against the forces of darkness alongside the strongest demon slayers of his era, the Hashira (which literally translates to Pillars). While in terms of ability, they’re ostensibly Taishō-era superheroes, they don’t always fit the bill of your typical do-gooder. In particular, the protagonist, Tanjiro, gets his first introduction as most of the Hashira advocate for the execution of his sister, who was transformed into a demon. Since then, several of these superior swordfighters have been cast in a more positive light, with many receiving extensive flashbacks that revealed their backstories and motivations. Others, uh, haven’t so much.
To appraise each of these nine warriors, we’ve decided to apply them to the truest test of character. This isn’t a power level competition, but a measure of their morality, how far they’re willing to go for their comrades, and of their capacity for kindness. That evaluation can only mean one thing: how likely are they to help you move? Will they show up in your hour of need to heave a bunch of boxes under a sweltering sun, or are they going to leave that text on read? With this measure of fundamental goodness in mind, let’s see how the Hashira stack up.
9. Sanemi Shinazugawa (Wind Hashira)

Sanemi Shinazugawa would not, in fact, help you move. This dude is a nonstop whirlwind of rage who has basically never done anything but kill demons and be an asshole. Sanemi was the biggest advocate for executing Tanjiro’s sister, and behaved like a total man-child when our good boy protagonist had the gall to stop him from killing his own brother. At this point, Sanemi refused to train Tanjiro further due to his petty grievances, hurting the overall cause because he was butthurt. This dude stinks.
8. Obanai Iguro (Serpent Hashira)

As the second least likable Hashira, Obanai is also very unlikely to help you move. He’s probably the demon slayer we know the least about, with his defining characteristic being that he’s a jealous incel weirdo when it comes to Mitsuri, the Love Hashira. Still, despite getting peeved when Tanjiro receives attention from Mitsuri, Obanai does at least continue administering lessons to our earnest hero, even if he’s weird about it. This guy is very due for a mandatory “Demon Slayer tragic backstory flashback.” Maybe he’ll get one yet that will bump him up the rankings.
7. Tengen Uzui (Sound Hashira)

Tengen is a flashy, self-absorbed jerk who almost definitely wouldn’t help you move of his own accord. However, it’s quite possible that despite all this, he would be urged to help by one of his more considerate ninja wives (yes, plural, it’s a whole sister-wife situation that we don’t have time to discuss). Specifically, it’s easy to imagine Hinatsuru, with her strong sense of duty and justice, ensuring that Tengen comes through, bringing the rest of the gang with them in the process. That’s four pairs of hands for the price of one, not a bad deal.
6. Shinobu Kocho (Insect Hashira)

While I’m not sure that Shinobu would take the time out of her carefully planned days spent concocting torturous poisons to kill demons in the most excruciating ways possible, I am damn sure she would at least send one of her many attendants from Butterfly Mansion to help. The Insect Hashira is a meticulous planner who would make sure you’re taken care of. That said, the fact that she likely wouldn’t personally be helping does lose her some points on the list.
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