Splatoon 3 Is More Splatoon and That’s Lovely

What interests me far more than droning on about the slick gameplay and bizarrely eye-catching paint drip physics is determining why everyone has deemed the lack of radical innovation a bad thing. “Sequels should be more of the same but different,” consumers screech, clutching their favorite media like pearls. Not different enough to challenge them, mind you—fanfolk still want everything they loved in the first place to remain recognizable and present. But, all the same, something should be different—a new villain, a new setting, a new mechanic or plot device or customization options.

Splatoon 3 has all of the above, yet people still moan and groan that it’s stagnant, a Xerox of a Xerox that should be interrogated as such. Yet dozens of series release new titles with little to no changes yearly, but since Splatoon 3 is developed by Nintendo, a company who puts fun and novelty above all else, it becomes an issue. And it’s to these people I must ask: what do you want to change? The core concept of Splatoon is incredibly strong, taking paintball fights to their logical endpoint with charming characters in a nonsensical world. Eight years in, I’d be hard pressed to say they’d wrung everything dry; each match I played was fun and enticed me into “just one more” far more often than I’d like to admit. The series’ precise, digestible action and myriad ways to experience both single-player and multiplayer may not keep people invested in the long-term, but are unstoppable when they’re the zeitgeist. So I have to repeat: what do you want Nintendo to change?

None of this is a pass for developers to simply copy and paste from game to game; thoughtful design and implementation are still required. It’s difficult to criticize an entire experience when it’s created through nearly invisible tweaks rather than outright reinvention. Turf War, Rainmaker, Salmon Run, all of these modes are simply refined versions of what we’ve already seen: Nothing is new but nothing is untouched either. When I grow tired of nearly 60 levels of the same single-player hijinx I’ve played two full games of already, someone else is experiencing them all for the first time. They won’t notice that movement feels slightly better, that the new weapons open up new strategies, that the paint looks nicer: all they care about is that the game is damn fun and they’re enjoying themselves.

I believe then that the vital distinction here is intention. Splatoon 3 does not intend to be a new experience. It wants to be a refresh, an update that becomes the platform for the foreseeable future of the series. It doesn’t try to be a sequel in the traditional sense, content instead with replacing the previous version rather than being in conversation with it. Now there is a discussion here to be had about whether or not sequels like Splatoon 3 should be sold at full price, which is valid and complex and not something I can adequately go into right now. I can confidently say, though, that it would be unfair to judge the game for being something it never claimed to be.

On its own merits, Splatoon 3 keeps everything funky fresh, providing yet another solid experience for Squid Kids to happily, even greedily, consume. It’s junk food, a sweet and savory snack that fills you up just the right amount to always want another bite. It might not nourish your body, but it nourishes your soul, each taste leaving yet another joyful memory. The wrapper may be different, but the insides are still the same consistent and sublimely tasty treat. You don’t mess with the perfect junk food; they changed the flavor of Coke once and it almost caused national riots.

Splatoon 3 was developed and published by Nintendo. It is available for the Switch.

Mik Deitz is a freelance writer and former Paste intern. They inhale stories in videogames, films, TV and books, and have never finished God of War (2018). Yell at or compliment them on Twitter @dietdeitz.