NeverDead (Multi-Platform)

Promising ideas are cut off at their head by shaky game mechanics.

In most video games the player takes on the role of an immortal badass. Death is rarely the end, but a temporary setback, a return to checkpoint. Konami’s NeverDead embraces the immortal aspect of the video game protagonist by introducing Bryce Boltzmann, a cursed undying immortal whose only character trait is that he simply can’t die. Unfortunately, NeverDead forgets to include the “badass” portion of the equation, and the final product is one of the most frustrating, boring and unlikeable games in recent memory.

Conceived by Konami’s producer Shinta Nojiri and developed by England’s Rebellion for American audiences, NeverDead feels like a hellish mishmash that’s trying to replicate both the weirdness of Eastern games like Shadows of the Damned and the non-stop action of Western games like Gears of War. The ludicrously named Boltzmann is a demon slayer for a government agency, and that’s all you need to know about the story, which is little more than a series of random scenes strung together with a dash of backstory about Bryce’s curse. It’s hard to care about Bryce’s story because, frankly, he sucks. Thanks to a series of awful one-liners that are repeated way too often, Bryce comes across as a generic and unlikable tool.

The obnoxiousness of the character wouldn’t be as much of an issue if the game was remotely fun or interesting. That’s even more of a letdown. Through monotonous, meandering levels, Bryce faces down hordes of endlessly repeated enemies with names that betray the staggering lack of creativity that permeates the game. There are doglike enemies called “puppies” and flying enemies called “birdies.” It’s supposed to be funny, but simply comes off as lazy. The same enemies appear again and again and again from the beginning of the game to the end, including many scenarios in which they respawn infinitely until you destroy spawners called “wombs.” That was annoying back when Gauntlet did it, and that was 1985.

During combat, Bryce can and will be blown apart time and time again. As an immortal, this kind of damage doesn’t kill him—if Bryce’s arms, legs, and head are ripped off, you roll the severed head around and pick up your missing bits or regenerate from just a head. You can also rip off your head and arms to solve puzzles—you toss your head into vents to get past doors and throw your limbs into the mouths of bosses so you can shoot them from the inside.