Mobile Game: Warhammer 40,000: Carnage (iOS)

Trust me: As Paste’s resident 40K n?e?r?d? expert, I really wanted to like Roadhouse Interactive’s new run & gun platformer, Warhammer 40,000: Carnage. But I should have been tipped off by the “Founders’ Edition: First Blood” seal on the app’s title screen—in its current state, it’s not entirely ready for service in The Emperor’s legions.
That’s not to say Carnage doesn’t have its charms. At its best, Carnage feels just like the universe it’s based on—an endearingly absurd celebration of Big Armored Dudes blasting green aliens into giblets. Throughout the 53 levels included in the game’s two maps, your Space Marine (capital S, capital M, thank you very much) will shoot and melee his way through hordes of Orks in a fast-paced, beautifully-drawn, well-animated trail of destruction. Having finished those 53 levels, the game doesn’t so much end as peter out in silence, leaving you with a strangely unfinished “that’s it?” feeling. Supposedly there are six additional maps coming in a future update, but whether those will be paid DLC remains a mystery. And while the game advertises a massive codex of lore penned by Games Workshop author Graham McNeill, it’s really not that extensive—and levels load so quickly you don’t even have time to read the occasional interstitial text about whatever foundry or temple you’re fighting to free from Ork rule. If there’s a story here, it’s presented in such a fragmented way it’s hard for even 40K dorks like me to make heads or tails of it.
Speaking of lore: Carnage starts you out as an unnamed Ultramarine, but you can eventually unlock a Blood Angel. That sentence will mean something to a very small percentage of you. For everyone else: start as Blue Guy, unlock Red Guy. Take it on faith when I say there are differences between the ways an Ultramarine and a Blood Angel would fight, so it is disappointing to those of us in the 40K 1% that there is functionally no difference between their play styles in the game. The usual assortment of 40K Ork baddies is present: your garden variety Squigs and Shoota Boyz, plus some variants like ‘Ard Boyz and Nobz. Yes, those are their names. Welcome to the grim darkness of the far future, where there are only creatures that sound like insults from A Clockwork Orange.
While Carnage does make use of oft-derided virtual buttons, the control scheme is intuitive and easily grasped. Your left thumb controls movement and blocking, while your right handles jumping, shooting, and melee attacks. Generally, the virtual buttons are responsive, although their small size can make for frustrating missed taps. Levels are short (most can be completed in under two minutes) and play more like an endless runner than a platformer. While you can reverse direction, the camera won’t move to the left—so you’re constantly prodded forward.
The level design is often uninspired, with predictable enemy and environmental hazard placement. But at least it looks pretty: The art is pitch-perfect for 40K’s future-Gothic vibe and looks fantastic on a newer-model iPad. The sound is a bit incongruous, though. I would have preferred 40K’s usual faux-opera to the irritating heavy metal soundtrack, and pretty much anything to the ersatz Shao Kahn announcing my combos, Mortal Kombat-style. “Brutality! Monstrosity!” Really? These are literal monsters I’m blasting to bits, dude.
Carnage employs the ubiquitous three-star scoring system, ranking your performance based on number of enemies killed, time taken, attack combos landed and damage received. Its unique twist is that you can replay each level with two modification sets, “Emperor’s Laurels” and “Crux Terminatus”, each of which applies one or multiple difficulty filters, like exploding enemies or reflected damage. While I liked the opportunity to inject some challenge into the repetitive levels—and earn more stars, which can be cashed in for better wargear—the additional filters often didn’t add much in the way of difficulty, making for a grindy experience. (Also, I’m not sure why Roadhouse thought platforming in the dark would be fun, but as demonstrated by the “Lights Out” filter, it’s not.) Yes, I know that 38,000 years in the future there is only war, but it would be nice if it was more interesting war.