How Pokémon Go Helps Me with My Agoraphobia

My apartment is like the Temple of Time from Ocarina of Time. For those of you who don’t know what the Temple of Time’s like, it’s a peaceful place where soothing music plays and white light filters in through cathedral style windows. My apartment is sacred like that. All the rooms are treated with utmost care and affection, as if they’re real people with fully developed personalities. I take pleasure in padding around on the carpeted floor with bare feet, barely making a sound as I ghost from one end of the apartment to the other. The familiar ritual of grinding my own coffee beans every morning fills me with a sense of ease. I enjoy gazing out of my bedroom window, but actually going outside is another story.

I have agoraphobia, which is the fear of leaving a safe space or avoiding a place that may trigger a panic attack. Leaving my house or staying out for a long period of time can be impossible. I have to regularly talk myself into staying at my job all day and I experience debilitating stomach cramps whenever I visit unfamiliar places. I’ve learned to hide the anxiety over the years by controlling my expression and tone of voice, but I’m in a dark place more often than I’d like to admit. Pokémon Go, an augmented reality game, distracts me from a mind that tries to convince me I’m in constant danger.

Pokémon Go isn’t the miracle cure for agoraphobia, but it occupies my mind. The game makes my day job more bearable when I have moments where I get completely overwhelmed. When dealing with a monstrous customer, it’s hard to ignore the panic building in my chest. The urge to return home and remain there for the rest of the afternoon is powerful. If I ever start to slip off the edge, I reach for my phone and farm out the nearest Pokestop for items. I’m not sure why, but there’s something calming about twirling the landmark round and round until a handful of Pokeballs spring out of it. The game does an excellent job of grounding me.

Repetitive tasks like grinding your way to a higher level in an online game may seem boring, but I don’t always mind slugging through menial jobs. Sometimes those tedious activities get me through the worst of a panic attack. The Pokestop I frequent is accessible from my work desk, so I don’t have to walk down the street to acquire more items. I retrieve items every time the Pokestop refreshes, but this mindless activity is a positive thing for me. I don’t always want to play a game where the stakes are high and the responsibility falls on my shoulders to save some faraway universe from imminent destruction. Sometimes a girl just wants to throw her feet up on a plump cushion and capture adorable creatures or spam the hell out of shop for free items.